I have been meaning to start a blog for years…in fact when my son was less than a year old, a friend did help me to set up a WordPress blog, but I was so overwhelmed with life that nothing was ever written on there. My son’s Facebook page; All About Evan-Schizencephaly Awareness came next and it is that page that has now emerged into A Special Needs Blog. which also has Instagram/Pinterest with the same name. So why did I choose, 'special needs'?
So why choose ‘special needs’ and not disabled……?
I did think about this, but admittedly not for long. Many people prefer the word ‘disabled’ but as a mum of a child diagnosed with a multitude of labels/conditions, (you can read more about that here) I like the words ‘special needs’, or ‘additional needs’.
My son needs people to think outside of the box to enable him to access what others can easily. More thought needs to be given to how people interact with him, and more of an effort is needed to communicate with him as well as to understand his communication to them. He needs special equipment and resources, a special way of feeding (he has an amazing diet!). He needs extra support with all of his personal care… all of these things to me are ‘special’. Special in a positive and loving sense.
Special is, being in someway superior, held in particular esteem, unique and extra (Merriam Webster n.d.)
Our Own Bias and History can affect our choices.
In my own history I have never used the word ‘special’ in a derogatory manner. Perhaps if I had I wouldn’t like the word. When I was a child, people, me included -I was a kid!, did use the words ‘spastic’ and ‘retard’ in negative and insulting ways. Now I never use the word ‘retard’. I do however use the word ‘spastic’, in the correct sense, and have had to retrain my brain to see the word for what it is, a description of the way my son’s body responds to the messages from his brain. Also, I suppose an important point to make here is that I use more clinical words when talking to professionals, and different words when talking to or about my son. We must consider what our children hear.
Disabled, for me feels negative, you could see this as just my opinion and feeling towards the word but if you look up the prefix ‘dis’ it means, the opposite of, deprived of, excluded from, not. (Merriam Webster n.d.)
And if we think of words with this prefix, the ones with ‘dis’ always has a negative connotation!
Advantage – Disadvantage
Obey – Disobey
Connected – Disconnected
Agree – Disagree
Able – Disabled
Don't get me wrong, I do use the word 'disabled' and you will hear me say it, occasionally, and I will use the word in my blogs when I want to specifically mean :
Disabled = having a physical or mental condition that limits their movements, senses, or activities.(Oxford Language Dictionary)
In conversation I will often use the word 'Additional'. My son has additional needs.....
I want my blog to have a name that fills me with warmth and hope and the word 'special' does that.
For me ‘special’ is the one you want in the biscuit box; the super expensive, extra elaborate meals on the board in the restaurant; the pumpkin spice drink that’s on the menu for a short time; the place everyone want to visit; the present everyone fights over. Special to me is filled with smiles and positivity.
My son is ‘special’ and he has ‘special needs’.
I'd love to know- Are there words that you prefer or words you avoid when talking about or to your child?
References:
Oxford Language Dictionary online.
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